Courtney is a Princess. Did you know? She has pretty pink hats, and pretty pink coats.
She is the princess of the ice and the snow.
Courtney, you see is a very special kind of princess. She is the princess of an arctic land. The sun dosent set in Courtney's kingdom.. at least not in the summer time! no ma'am!
She rules over polar bears and seals...
She can do anything she feels!
Since princess is, as princess does, Princess Courtney sends out love. She loves her mom and loves her dad.. She makes them better if they get sad.
The summer sun is always bright, but winter time means constant night. But Courtney, princess of the frigid cold, likes the night. Just for her, the stars unfold. The northern lights, they dance and play.. all for princess Courtney! Yay!
The rolling hills make perfect places, for the Princess to have all her races! She races down the snowy slopes, with all her friends, and all their folks!
The frozen ponds and icy lakes, are perfect places for princesses to skate! around and round the lakes she speeds, her skates are faster than the bees!
But when princess Courtney needs to sleep, her ice castle is where she goes. The sweetest dreams know where to go, way out in the land of ice and snow.
When the princess sleeps, the kingdom is peaceful. The land is quiet and so are the people. They sleep just fine when they all know, their princess Courtney runs the show.
The bestest Princess to ever be, Princess Courtney.. yes indeed.
Love you too much Courtney. My little princess.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Jacob Dosent Want to go to Bed
**Here is my first attempt at writing a children's book (I'm going to illustrate a hard copy version just for fun).**
* Dedicated to lovely Jacob, a big boy of 3 years old.
Jacob was a good boy all day. He played nice with his friends at daycare... Then he went skating with his mommy and daddy, he ate all his candy! And when he got home, he ate all his supper. Even the broccoli! After Dinner, he has apple cobbler for dessert, he even scooped his own ice cream! You see, Jacob is a big boy and big boys can scoop their own ice cream... especially the maple kind.
After he had dessert, Jacob wanted to read a story with his freind Janice. (Janice and Jacob both start with the letter "J"). So Jacob picked out the book he wanted to read. Janice and Jacob wnet out to swing in the porch like they always do... but today, for whatever reason, Jacob didnt want to share the swing. He said "you can sit on the floor and read to me" as he as he lay down on the entire swing. But his friend didnt want to sit on the floor and read to him. It just wasnt fair. So she said to Jacob "No. I dont want to sit on the floor and read to you.".
So Jacob started crying.
He got so mad! He even threw the book across the porch!
Then his daddy came in to see what all the commotion was about. "What's going on?" he said with a big voice that only daddies can have. Jacob cried and cried, nobody could figure out why. Then his daddy said "Unless yoyu apologiize, you're going right to bed!" But Jacob was stubborn. He didnt want to apologize, but he didnt want to go to bed either. Janice was very upset because Jacob didnt want to share with her, and because he was yelling and screaming.
Jacob didnt realize he hurt her feelings, so he still didnt apologize. His daddy then picked him up and put him over his shaulder and carried him all the way upstairs. Jacob still didnt want to go to bed. "NOOO!" he cried! "I dont wanna go to bed!" He screamed, in his loudest, whiniest voice. His daddy gave him one more chance to apologize, so they went back downstairs and Jacob, with tears in his big blue eyes said
"Sorry"
To his friend. "It's ok" she said "But next time, you have to be nice, ok?".
So Jacob, always be nice to your friends and dont hurt their feelings. If you do, you have to apologize right away. Ok? <3
* Dedicated to lovely Jacob, a big boy of 3 years old.
Jacob was a good boy all day. He played nice with his friends at daycare... Then he went skating with his mommy and daddy, he ate all his candy! And when he got home, he ate all his supper. Even the broccoli! After Dinner, he has apple cobbler for dessert, he even scooped his own ice cream! You see, Jacob is a big boy and big boys can scoop their own ice cream... especially the maple kind.
After he had dessert, Jacob wanted to read a story with his freind Janice. (Janice and Jacob both start with the letter "J"). So Jacob picked out the book he wanted to read. Janice and Jacob wnet out to swing in the porch like they always do... but today, for whatever reason, Jacob didnt want to share the swing. He said "you can sit on the floor and read to me" as he as he lay down on the entire swing. But his friend didnt want to sit on the floor and read to him. It just wasnt fair. So she said to Jacob "No. I dont want to sit on the floor and read to you.".
So Jacob started crying.
He got so mad! He even threw the book across the porch!
Then his daddy came in to see what all the commotion was about. "What's going on?" he said with a big voice that only daddies can have. Jacob cried and cried, nobody could figure out why. Then his daddy said "Unless yoyu apologiize, you're going right to bed!" But Jacob was stubborn. He didnt want to apologize, but he didnt want to go to bed either. Janice was very upset because Jacob didnt want to share with her, and because he was yelling and screaming.
Jacob didnt realize he hurt her feelings, so he still didnt apologize. His daddy then picked him up and put him over his shaulder and carried him all the way upstairs. Jacob still didnt want to go to bed. "NOOO!" he cried! "I dont wanna go to bed!" He screamed, in his loudest, whiniest voice. His daddy gave him one more chance to apologize, so they went back downstairs and Jacob, with tears in his big blue eyes said
"Sorry"
To his friend. "It's ok" she said "But next time, you have to be nice, ok?".
So Jacob, always be nice to your friends and dont hurt their feelings. If you do, you have to apologize right away. Ok? <3
Sunday, August 22, 2010
eat, sleep, breath CIRCUS!
wow.. this has been such an incredible 2 weeks for me i dont even know where to begin..
I travelled to Kuujjuaq on august 6th, and from then until now, I've had all night parties, I've been on stage, I called over 50 teens and their parents, helped run a circus camp (yes CIRCUS camp), discovered abilities and leanred about myself from true friends, I was in the hospital, I was 'mommy', i was 'friend' and 'discipline-er', I met SUSAN AGLUKARK, I made amazing friends, I've discovered my inner circus freak, I worked 14 hour days, I went to sleep thinking about 'my kids', I had a melt down, I worked 3 weekends in a row, I just.. wow.
Ok, so i'll start from the very very start.. when i was young (like 3-4-5ish) I LOVED the circus. I was that baby that could climb tables before i could walk and once i did master alking, i learned fast that skipping and dancing were more fun. I could bend over backwards and climb all the way to the top of the rope.. I was bouncing off the walls. Can you imagine how much I loved the circus? I loved everything cirque du soleil.. i breathed it.. i worshiped those people that could fly through the air, stand on shaulders and bend in half.. I always felt like i was one of them.. or the same kind as them.. or something.
Anyway, fast forward a couple years and imagine me at home doing nothing at 11pm on the computor.. I get an email from Sylvia asking if i want to work with the upcoming CIRQINIQ circus camp she's been creating.. no second thoughts.. i was like "YES YES YES YES" ( i believe that was my response email lol)
I got here a week before the camp started to help with the preliminary stuff (registrations etc).. so i was calling all the kids ( i call them kids, they were 13-17) and talked to each of them over the phone, I learned tehir voices and their names and when they got here i was able to remember most of them :).. but that week just happened to be the week of Aqpik Jam, the annual music festival in Kuujjuaq.. so one of my best friends, A-M asked me to help her with the youth group, teach throat singing and drumming and stuff.. so i did that with her. and it was so fun.. I love working with that particular youth group, theyre so sweet and cute and talented! watching young girls become comfortable to throat sing on STAGE it makes me SO proud to know that i was able to help them gain that confidence :).... but can you imagne? I was working 14 hour days on top of that AND attending/performing the festival and partying like it was 1999! ugh.. whenever i come here, there's always a reason to party.. Im not huge on drinking but when all my friends from all over are in the same place, it's like WHY NOT? lol.. I ended up overdoing it.. so by the time the kids arrived, i was already on the verge of physical exhaustion.
The first few days of the camp were really hard.. really really hard. We had a lot of rules that didnt go over well with the youth, they complained (A LOT) some of them didnt get along, they didnt want to participate in activities and it was just hard to get people motivated.. I wasnt one of the nght moniters, so i got to go home to sleep each night, but by 830 am i would already be at work and the days only ended for me past 10pm.. combine my already tired body with my stressball mind and a really bad spell of H.Pylori bacteria in my tummy (which meant constant nausea, nothing i ate or drank would stay down and by day 5 i was in need of medical attention).. So i ended up in the hospital. i was put on IV to restore fluids in my incredibly dehydrated body and gravel to keep my food and drink down.. but i hate needles so much that i tried to convince the nurse not t put the IV in (can you imagine a patient trying to convince a nurse they dont need fluids by IV when they cant even pee to take a pregnancy test?).. she yelled at me "YOU HAVENT HAD ANYTHINHG FOR FIVE DAYS. YOU NEED THIS."so i sucked it up and i acted like a big girl and didnt cry when she put it in (I dont think my body could have mustered enough hydration for tears anyway).. I ended up falling asleep and dreaming about being on facebook, I woke up moving the hand that the iv was in as if it was on a laptop mouse pad..lol
Anyway, straight from the hospital i went back to work feeling amazing> i felt like a raisin that's just been soaked in water..lol so fresh an plump! lol but the kids were still on the negative low.. so i ended u pspanning. I sat them all in a circle and yelled at them about how much time, work, and money went into this project, how disrespectful they were being to the staff and instructors (world class circus people!!!) and how if that's the future of my region, i'm scared. After that little talk.. they were all pretty good.. it started getting better. but we still ended up sending a few of them home.. but after the ones that went home were gone (the most disrputive ones or ones that had crossed lines) the ones who were truely interested in being there could really shine! it was amazing to see how much the mood changed by the middle of the week...
I made some very wonderful young friends that I miss already (They got on their planes home today.. :( they broke my heart by leaving me!!!!).. i got lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles, high fives and even bites from 50 wonderful, beautiful inuit youth. I love them all. I cant even express how much they mean to me now.. they're so lovely, I just want to line them all up and knock them all down like dominoes! <3
One of the girls there really reminded me of myself when i was that age.. it's amazing. I love her and i always, always will.. and another oone of the girls that just amazed me with her talent and her grace and her strength.. she's spending the night with me now that camp is over :) I love it! and the BOYS! oh are the ever CUTE! ugh! such little ladies men! i love love love!
but after all the practicing we did.. the last day was pretty hectic.. we were all exhausted and just drained from the week and that very day, we lost another one of our peers to suicide which really affected the group because he was that same age as all the kids we had with us, and he was friends with many of them, but we had a show t put on and you know the show must go on! it ended up being completely, absolutely, truely, deeply, honestly just AMAZING. breathtaking even. I just dont even have the words to describe it. And teh cherry on top? Susan Aglukark had done a speaking presentation for the kids the day before then also performed at the end of the final show! it was just grand! lol
anyway, i'll try to continue this post more.. im exhausted and its past my girl's curfew and getting worried. it's scary to love someone and be waiting for them at a certain hour and they dont show up when they say they will.... I officially apologize to my parents.
I travelled to Kuujjuaq on august 6th, and from then until now, I've had all night parties, I've been on stage, I called over 50 teens and their parents, helped run a circus camp (yes CIRCUS camp), discovered abilities and leanred about myself from true friends, I was in the hospital, I was 'mommy', i was 'friend' and 'discipline-er', I met SUSAN AGLUKARK, I made amazing friends, I've discovered my inner circus freak, I worked 14 hour days, I went to sleep thinking about 'my kids', I had a melt down, I worked 3 weekends in a row, I just.. wow.
Ok, so i'll start from the very very start.. when i was young (like 3-4-5ish) I LOVED the circus. I was that baby that could climb tables before i could walk and once i did master alking, i learned fast that skipping and dancing were more fun. I could bend over backwards and climb all the way to the top of the rope.. I was bouncing off the walls. Can you imagine how much I loved the circus? I loved everything cirque du soleil.. i breathed it.. i worshiped those people that could fly through the air, stand on shaulders and bend in half.. I always felt like i was one of them.. or the same kind as them.. or something.
Anyway, fast forward a couple years and imagine me at home doing nothing at 11pm on the computor.. I get an email from Sylvia asking if i want to work with the upcoming CIRQINIQ circus camp she's been creating.. no second thoughts.. i was like "YES YES YES YES" ( i believe that was my response email lol)
I got here a week before the camp started to help with the preliminary stuff (registrations etc).. so i was calling all the kids ( i call them kids, they were 13-17) and talked to each of them over the phone, I learned tehir voices and their names and when they got here i was able to remember most of them :).. but that week just happened to be the week of Aqpik Jam, the annual music festival in Kuujjuaq.. so one of my best friends, A-M asked me to help her with the youth group, teach throat singing and drumming and stuff.. so i did that with her. and it was so fun.. I love working with that particular youth group, theyre so sweet and cute and talented! watching young girls become comfortable to throat sing on STAGE it makes me SO proud to know that i was able to help them gain that confidence :).... but can you imagne? I was working 14 hour days on top of that AND attending/performing the festival and partying like it was 1999! ugh.. whenever i come here, there's always a reason to party.. Im not huge on drinking but when all my friends from all over are in the same place, it's like WHY NOT? lol.. I ended up overdoing it.. so by the time the kids arrived, i was already on the verge of physical exhaustion.
The first few days of the camp were really hard.. really really hard. We had a lot of rules that didnt go over well with the youth, they complained (A LOT) some of them didnt get along, they didnt want to participate in activities and it was just hard to get people motivated.. I wasnt one of the nght moniters, so i got to go home to sleep each night, but by 830 am i would already be at work and the days only ended for me past 10pm.. combine my already tired body with my stressball mind and a really bad spell of H.Pylori bacteria in my tummy (which meant constant nausea, nothing i ate or drank would stay down and by day 5 i was in need of medical attention).. So i ended up in the hospital. i was put on IV to restore fluids in my incredibly dehydrated body and gravel to keep my food and drink down.. but i hate needles so much that i tried to convince the nurse not t put the IV in (can you imagine a patient trying to convince a nurse they dont need fluids by IV when they cant even pee to take a pregnancy test?).. she yelled at me "YOU HAVENT HAD ANYTHINHG FOR FIVE DAYS. YOU NEED THIS."so i sucked it up and i acted like a big girl and didnt cry when she put it in (I dont think my body could have mustered enough hydration for tears anyway).. I ended up falling asleep and dreaming about being on facebook, I woke up moving the hand that the iv was in as if it was on a laptop mouse pad..lol
Anyway, straight from the hospital i went back to work feeling amazing> i felt like a raisin that's just been soaked in water..lol so fresh an plump! lol but the kids were still on the negative low.. so i ended u pspanning. I sat them all in a circle and yelled at them about how much time, work, and money went into this project, how disrespectful they were being to the staff and instructors (world class circus people!!!) and how if that's the future of my region, i'm scared. After that little talk.. they were all pretty good.. it started getting better. but we still ended up sending a few of them home.. but after the ones that went home were gone (the most disrputive ones or ones that had crossed lines) the ones who were truely interested in being there could really shine! it was amazing to see how much the mood changed by the middle of the week...
I made some very wonderful young friends that I miss already (They got on their planes home today.. :( they broke my heart by leaving me!!!!).. i got lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles, high fives and even bites from 50 wonderful, beautiful inuit youth. I love them all. I cant even express how much they mean to me now.. they're so lovely, I just want to line them all up and knock them all down like dominoes! <3
One of the girls there really reminded me of myself when i was that age.. it's amazing. I love her and i always, always will.. and another oone of the girls that just amazed me with her talent and her grace and her strength.. she's spending the night with me now that camp is over :) I love it! and the BOYS! oh are the ever CUTE! ugh! such little ladies men! i love love love!
but after all the practicing we did.. the last day was pretty hectic.. we were all exhausted and just drained from the week and that very day, we lost another one of our peers to suicide which really affected the group because he was that same age as all the kids we had with us, and he was friends with many of them, but we had a show t put on and you know the show must go on! it ended up being completely, absolutely, truely, deeply, honestly just AMAZING. breathtaking even. I just dont even have the words to describe it. And teh cherry on top? Susan Aglukark had done a speaking presentation for the kids the day before then also performed at the end of the final show! it was just grand! lol
anyway, i'll try to continue this post more.. im exhausted and its past my girl's curfew and getting worried. it's scary to love someone and be waiting for them at a certain hour and they dont show up when they say they will.... I officially apologize to my parents.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
open letter to all women.
Are you fat? Do you want lean, toned arms that dont jiggle? Do you have what some would call 'thunder thighs'? Seriously, take a good long look at yourself in the mirror... you never had that double chin before, and i bet you could hardly get your jeans on this morning.. hell, i bet you could sniff out any twinky within 500 feet. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are ugly. You are.. you're a heifer.. you'll never find a man with that body.
Sound familiar?.. maybe?..
I dont know about anyone else, but that's the message i get when i see weight loss, clothing, diet or even make up ads. That I am ugly, I should get that foundation.. i have so many blemishes.. Jenny Craig? I could lose 55lbs too?
it's sick.. Women are attacked every single day in mainstream media.. yea, i know i know.. what's new right?
But seriously.. I just wanted to send out a message to all the women out there.. You are not ugly.. you dont need that mascara, or to lose 10lbs (well, maybe you do but do it for your health and not for what people call 'beauty' these days)..
We're under so much pressure to be thin, to be pretty, to be sweet, docile women. We need to be hairless in certain places, if that means painful wax or time consuming shaving.. chemical hair removal.. even laser hair removal.. we need to have legs for days and eyelashes to match.. plumper lips, double D's and a plump round bum is what we need.. I mean.. we want to get married right? and to get pregnant (because you dont want to miss your chance to wear Kim Kardashian's maternity line)..
But think about it.. do you need to lose 10 lbs to be sexy or beautiful? or do you need to lose 10lbs to be healthy? or do you need to lose 10lbs at all?!
Lady you are gorgeous. You're tall, you're short.. you're thin or curvy.. A cups or D cups.. baby you've got it!! you are one amazing creature.. look at your body... it's a miracle! you are a cradle of life! I've never had a baby myself, but I have lots of friends who have.. it never ceases to amaze me what a female body can do! Inside your belly (when you are pregnant), you're constructing hair, bones, skin.. a human being. A human being just like you! you have feelings, you have opinions, you matter! and so will that thing that your body is able to create!
You matter too much to be feeling ugly. You deserve to feel confidant and beautiful because you are! in your own, special, unique way sweetheart you're absolutely magnificent. if you've got thin legs and knobby knees, or thunder thighs like me.. you are a gift wrapped in your own skin.. inside, you are a great person. regardless of what has happened to you in the past or what you've done or felt to/about yourself.. you dont deserve to feel shame. inside is a wonderful, beautiful woman just waiting to take on the world!
We need to start worrying about our mothers in abusive relationships, our sisters on the streets, our cousins who cut themselves or abuse themselves because they dont feel worth it. We need to stop worrying about how we'll manage to fit into that bathing suit by summer, or getting those boots that can accommodate our calves.
We need to redefine beauty. Do it for your daughter.
Sound familiar?.. maybe?..
I dont know about anyone else, but that's the message i get when i see weight loss, clothing, diet or even make up ads. That I am ugly, I should get that foundation.. i have so many blemishes.. Jenny Craig? I could lose 55lbs too?
it's sick.. Women are attacked every single day in mainstream media.. yea, i know i know.. what's new right?
But seriously.. I just wanted to send out a message to all the women out there.. You are not ugly.. you dont need that mascara, or to lose 10lbs (well, maybe you do but do it for your health and not for what people call 'beauty' these days)..
We're under so much pressure to be thin, to be pretty, to be sweet, docile women. We need to be hairless in certain places, if that means painful wax or time consuming shaving.. chemical hair removal.. even laser hair removal.. we need to have legs for days and eyelashes to match.. plumper lips, double D's and a plump round bum is what we need.. I mean.. we want to get married right? and to get pregnant (because you dont want to miss your chance to wear Kim Kardashian's maternity line)..
But think about it.. do you need to lose 10 lbs to be sexy or beautiful? or do you need to lose 10lbs to be healthy? or do you need to lose 10lbs at all?!
Lady you are gorgeous. You're tall, you're short.. you're thin or curvy.. A cups or D cups.. baby you've got it!! you are one amazing creature.. look at your body... it's a miracle! you are a cradle of life! I've never had a baby myself, but I have lots of friends who have.. it never ceases to amaze me what a female body can do! Inside your belly (when you are pregnant), you're constructing hair, bones, skin.. a human being. A human being just like you! you have feelings, you have opinions, you matter! and so will that thing that your body is able to create!
You matter too much to be feeling ugly. You deserve to feel confidant and beautiful because you are! in your own, special, unique way sweetheart you're absolutely magnificent. if you've got thin legs and knobby knees, or thunder thighs like me.. you are a gift wrapped in your own skin.. inside, you are a great person. regardless of what has happened to you in the past or what you've done or felt to/about yourself.. you dont deserve to feel shame. inside is a wonderful, beautiful woman just waiting to take on the world!
We need to start worrying about our mothers in abusive relationships, our sisters on the streets, our cousins who cut themselves or abuse themselves because they dont feel worth it. We need to stop worrying about how we'll manage to fit into that bathing suit by summer, or getting those boots that can accommodate our calves.
We need to redefine beauty. Do it for your daughter.
Friday, July 30, 2010
i love hate it.
I cut my hair, wayy back in october.. Unless you knew me from before that time, you probably dont understand how significant that was for me. My hair!! I loved it.. i did and i still do. but before i cut it, it was the best.. it was, pouffy, curly, long, fabulous! Oh, and it was BIG. Think P!nk in the Lady Marmalade video, yea.. that big. I could pull the curls straight and it was the length of my arm. I knew each and every individual curl, I even had a favorite. My friends loved it, i was like a doll.. they would just play with it, braid it.. even attempt to comb it.
It wasnt just my friends who loved to play with it.. there's something about curly hair that makes people forget all their manners. On the bus, at the air port, in class.. people see curls, they automatically want to bounce them, to touch them, to fluff them up.. to pretend that the owner of that hair didnt wake up two hours early to get it that smooth, then attempt to run their fingers through it.
Anyway, Imagine my life, having to plan around that? I always wore my hair up.. always. It was SO much easier than dealing with people who wanted to touch it (and getting up two hours earlier in the day to deal with it). I'm very low maintenance (i know it might not seem like it but i am!) and I just didnt have the time or patience to really do a lot of crazy styles with it. (Long story short, i really just dont give a fuck)..
I remember growing up, I was the only little black girl in an Inuit community.. my hair was the only afro hair.. my mom had no idea what to do with it. We used to cry together while she attempted to comb it (we laugh about it now, but it was pretty traumatic for both of us).. I remember one day, after i had started combing my own hair (well past age 11).. she randomly said to me "Panik, I was SO happy when you started combing your own hair".. So was I mom. lol
Anyway so.. to get to the point.. When i cut my hair, it was a huge step for me in my life.. it was like a new beginning.. like growing up. I felt different after i cut it, like somehow i was more.. i dont know what i was more of actually.. but it certainly was different. I hated it.
I hated it so much, i hated it. I just dont know how else to say it..lol. it was so.... . . . . . short.. it was the length of my fingernail pulled straight.. i thought i looked like the Jackson 5.. it didnt help that my dad did the moonwalk every time he saw me that day. I cried for about 3 days, i mailed my hair to Angel Hair for Kids and told myself that someone will be so happy to have it.
So, 9 months later? what do i have? I have hair that's an awkward length and i have no clue what to do with it. All my go to fixes are irrelevant. I cant quite put it into an elastic (well i can, but it looks funny), I cant stuff it all under a beret, and the days of hiding under scarves are loong gone (it's too thick for most scarf-y styles to look good and it's too soft to hold anything on).. and it's too long for just a headband to look decent too....
But here it is.. in all of it's short/long/not-too-sure, pouffy, frizzy, curly, crazy, Macy Gray-esque glory...... . . . .my hair. i love/hate it.
It wasnt just my friends who loved to play with it.. there's something about curly hair that makes people forget all their manners. On the bus, at the air port, in class.. people see curls, they automatically want to bounce them, to touch them, to fluff them up.. to pretend that the owner of that hair didnt wake up two hours early to get it that smooth, then attempt to run their fingers through it.
Anyway, Imagine my life, having to plan around that? I always wore my hair up.. always. It was SO much easier than dealing with people who wanted to touch it (and getting up two hours earlier in the day to deal with it). I'm very low maintenance (i know it might not seem like it but i am!) and I just didnt have the time or patience to really do a lot of crazy styles with it. (Long story short, i really just dont give a fuck)..
I remember growing up, I was the only little black girl in an Inuit community.. my hair was the only afro hair.. my mom had no idea what to do with it. We used to cry together while she attempted to comb it (we laugh about it now, but it was pretty traumatic for both of us).. I remember one day, after i had started combing my own hair (well past age 11).. she randomly said to me "Panik, I was SO happy when you started combing your own hair".. So was I mom. lol
Anyway so.. to get to the point.. When i cut my hair, it was a huge step for me in my life.. it was like a new beginning.. like growing up. I felt different after i cut it, like somehow i was more.. i dont know what i was more of actually.. but it certainly was different. I hated it.
I hated it so much, i hated it. I just dont know how else to say it..lol. it was so.... . . . . . short.. it was the length of my fingernail pulled straight.. i thought i looked like the Jackson 5.. it didnt help that my dad did the moonwalk every time he saw me that day. I cried for about 3 days, i mailed my hair to Angel Hair for Kids and told myself that someone will be so happy to have it.
So, 9 months later? what do i have? I have hair that's an awkward length and i have no clue what to do with it. All my go to fixes are irrelevant. I cant quite put it into an elastic (well i can, but it looks funny), I cant stuff it all under a beret, and the days of hiding under scarves are loong gone (it's too thick for most scarf-y styles to look good and it's too soft to hold anything on).. and it's too long for just a headband to look decent too....
But here it is.. in all of it's short/long/not-too-sure, pouffy, frizzy, curly, crazy, Macy Gray-esque glory...... . . . .my hair. i love/hate it.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Inuttituuqqajatsiaquunginama.. There. I said it.
Inuttitut is one of the strongest aboriginal languages in the world. Nunavik has the highest retention rate out of all the Inuit regions in Canada.. everyone speaks inuttitut, everyone understands words here and there, we all understand and even if we dont speak it, we get the point of the conversation. I used to consider myself a fluent inuttitut speaker, but the closer i look at the way i use the language, i'm starting to realize that i'm a bad speaker.
I'm honest to god a bad inuttitut speaker. I dont know the real inuttitut. When i speak, i mix english and inuttitut like it's my job. I mix sentences and even words. Seriously, I cant even complete a word in one language sometimes. Ex: "Mirror-ra sukkulaurtu when i closed the door, slam-kallasugu ilaaniungitu. Then i had to clean the saniks it made. Good thing i didnt kilik" That's the way i speak.. that's how most of my friends speak, we talk to each other like that. It's pathetic.. and the reason i do it is because im just lazy.. I recognize that it's going to be hard twork to change it, there are habits that need breaking and it's a lifestyle choice that im going to have to make.
People talk about the impending loss of the inuttitut language.. they discuss ways of saving it. Meetings, policy and workshops are held regularly to figure out how to keep it alive. But i can feel it dying inside of me.. with every English word i write, with every "hi" n place of "Ai".. every little thing i do, i'm contributing to the death of my mother tongue. It can happen in my lifetime.. mostly because it`s not just me doing it.. my peers all do it, that`s how we communicate with each other. Politicians keep trying to save it.. but none of thier work is of any use if we keep acting the way we do. No policy or workshop can make us change.. it needs to come from within.. we need to stop killing inuttitut.. we need to start speaking it. Properly.
I'm honest to god a bad inuttitut speaker. I dont know the real inuttitut. When i speak, i mix english and inuttitut like it's my job. I mix sentences and even words. Seriously, I cant even complete a word in one language sometimes. Ex: "Mirror-ra sukkulaurtu when i closed the door, slam-kallasugu ilaaniungitu. Then i had to clean the saniks it made. Good thing i didnt kilik" That's the way i speak.. that's how most of my friends speak, we talk to each other like that. It's pathetic.. and the reason i do it is because im just lazy.. I recognize that it's going to be hard twork to change it, there are habits that need breaking and it's a lifestyle choice that im going to have to make.
People talk about the impending loss of the inuttitut language.. they discuss ways of saving it. Meetings, policy and workshops are held regularly to figure out how to keep it alive. But i can feel it dying inside of me.. with every English word i write, with every "hi" n place of "Ai".. every little thing i do, i'm contributing to the death of my mother tongue. It can happen in my lifetime.. mostly because it`s not just me doing it.. my peers all do it, that`s how we communicate with each other. Politicians keep trying to save it.. but none of thier work is of any use if we keep acting the way we do. No policy or workshop can make us change.. it needs to come from within.. we need to stop killing inuttitut.. we need to start speaking it. Properly.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Nunavik House in Rosemont and Villeray
A few months ago, I wrote a note about the abysmal state and location of Nunavik House, I drafted the petition that was then signed by over 200 Nunavimmiut demanding they find a new location.
The area of Notre-Dame-de-Grace that Nunavik House is at present, is one of the most dangerous places in the city of Montreal. The area is crawling with criminal activity; drugs, gangs, cheap motels and seedy bars are everywhere. That place, a place where you can’t walk alone at night, where you can’t escape the pushers and dealers, was the very place we sent our most vulnerable people to live and stay. No wonder there was an uprising, a revolution.. the people, our people, talked among themselves, sharing horror stories and concerns. It started with acceptance, what more could we ask for? We’re being treated by medical professionals in the south with all the newest technology. That quiet acceptance simmered into deep frustration. Why are we being put here? Into these circumstances? That frustration then boiled into anger and genuine fear. This is unacceptable; we have the right to security of person, especially during times of physical fragility.
The Inuit of Nunavik have never suffered for long in silence. We always find our voice at some point and we fight for our rights as Inuit, as Canadians and as human beings. The process is inevitable, we’re nobody’s doormat.
When we received news that Nunavik House will be moved to a safer part of the city, we celebrated. Another battle won, another step in the direction of a healthy society. Now we are being told we’re not welcome? Residents of Rosemont and Villeray launched a vicious, abusive, racist, ignorant campaign against the Nunavik House Project in their community. Their ill informed website (that i personally have not seen) alleged that the coming of Nunavik House would inevitably result in increased crime, drugs, prostitution, and urine smell among other things. Yes, urine smell. I’m no stranger to negative media about Inuit. Believe me, I’ve written post after post about it. But to say that an Inuit residence would bring the smell of urine into your community is, by far the most disgusting, insulting thing I’ve ever heard.
Why is it that the people of Rosemont and Villeray think Inuit would bring these things into their community? We have been begging to leave the very place where those things are abundant. Of course, the only information they hear about the Inuit is how much it sucks to be us. With the suicide rates, high infant mortality, smoking and alcoholism on the front page of every Inuit region, no wonder outsiders assume we’ll bring death and destruction.
When i read the article about Rosemont and Villeray i wanted to be angry. I wanted to become defensive. I wanted to launch a counter-attack on the hurtful message. But the more i think about it, the easier it is to see through their eyes. They don’t know the real story about Inuit –the full story. Inuit have the most gentle hearts, we understand true kindness; we have a beautiful language, we have beautiful art and amazing food. We have so much to offer the world, if they only knew, they would be excited to welcome a new demographic. Inuit could add a whole new cultural dimension to the community. The people of Rosemont and Villeray would no doubt be exposed to some of the most talented artists, to throat singers and elders and big cheeked babies. They could learn the art of the kunik, an Eskimo kiss –the simple joy in the smell of a newborn. They could try nikkuk and the brave ones could try misirak. They would learn so much about fellow Canadians. About people that seem so far removed, but are really, very accessible. The potential for creating peace between Canadian Inuit and their southern counterparts is immense.
Inuit really do have so much to offer, they’ve just been living in fear and uncertainty in NDG. We don’t have the opportunity to spread the beauty in our culture when we’re surrounded by the ugliest parts of urban culture. To the people of Rosemont and Villeray I encourage you to learn more about Inuit, from Inuit. Together, we can create a beautiful mosaic of Canadian culture in the little borough you call home.
The area of Notre-Dame-de-Grace that Nunavik House is at present, is one of the most dangerous places in the city of Montreal. The area is crawling with criminal activity; drugs, gangs, cheap motels and seedy bars are everywhere. That place, a place where you can’t walk alone at night, where you can’t escape the pushers and dealers, was the very place we sent our most vulnerable people to live and stay. No wonder there was an uprising, a revolution.. the people, our people, talked among themselves, sharing horror stories and concerns. It started with acceptance, what more could we ask for? We’re being treated by medical professionals in the south with all the newest technology. That quiet acceptance simmered into deep frustration. Why are we being put here? Into these circumstances? That frustration then boiled into anger and genuine fear. This is unacceptable; we have the right to security of person, especially during times of physical fragility.
The Inuit of Nunavik have never suffered for long in silence. We always find our voice at some point and we fight for our rights as Inuit, as Canadians and as human beings. The process is inevitable, we’re nobody’s doormat.
When we received news that Nunavik House will be moved to a safer part of the city, we celebrated. Another battle won, another step in the direction of a healthy society. Now we are being told we’re not welcome? Residents of Rosemont and Villeray launched a vicious, abusive, racist, ignorant campaign against the Nunavik House Project in their community. Their ill informed website (that i personally have not seen) alleged that the coming of Nunavik House would inevitably result in increased crime, drugs, prostitution, and urine smell among other things. Yes, urine smell. I’m no stranger to negative media about Inuit. Believe me, I’ve written post after post about it. But to say that an Inuit residence would bring the smell of urine into your community is, by far the most disgusting, insulting thing I’ve ever heard.
Why is it that the people of Rosemont and Villeray think Inuit would bring these things into their community? We have been begging to leave the very place where those things are abundant. Of course, the only information they hear about the Inuit is how much it sucks to be us. With the suicide rates, high infant mortality, smoking and alcoholism on the front page of every Inuit region, no wonder outsiders assume we’ll bring death and destruction.
When i read the article about Rosemont and Villeray i wanted to be angry. I wanted to become defensive. I wanted to launch a counter-attack on the hurtful message. But the more i think about it, the easier it is to see through their eyes. They don’t know the real story about Inuit –the full story. Inuit have the most gentle hearts, we understand true kindness; we have a beautiful language, we have beautiful art and amazing food. We have so much to offer the world, if they only knew, they would be excited to welcome a new demographic. Inuit could add a whole new cultural dimension to the community. The people of Rosemont and Villeray would no doubt be exposed to some of the most talented artists, to throat singers and elders and big cheeked babies. They could learn the art of the kunik, an Eskimo kiss –the simple joy in the smell of a newborn. They could try nikkuk and the brave ones could try misirak. They would learn so much about fellow Canadians. About people that seem so far removed, but are really, very accessible. The potential for creating peace between Canadian Inuit and their southern counterparts is immense.
Inuit really do have so much to offer, they’ve just been living in fear and uncertainty in NDG. We don’t have the opportunity to spread the beauty in our culture when we’re surrounded by the ugliest parts of urban culture. To the people of Rosemont and Villeray I encourage you to learn more about Inuit, from Inuit. Together, we can create a beautiful mosaic of Canadian culture in the little borough you call home.
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